Change

Park renovation started

At our town home in Seattle we awoke last Friday to notice we could suddenly see the lights of the town instead of trees; and upon reflection, the town could now see us. Just the morning before, the trees in the park across the street provided us a sense of privacy, muffling the sounds from the main street beyond. These 80+ year old healthy trees were felled while we were at Neil’s aunt’s side. It was her last day on earth too.

In the past, when loved healthy trees were cut down, I’d be outraged that such beauty could be instantly removed for “progress”. If they were also trees that sheltered and protected, I’d feel exposed to the world, vulnerable. But this time, I was upset about trees only momentarily; the loss of Neil’s Aunt, created in God’s image, immensely outweighed the loss of trees and privacy. We held a memorial service for her a week later and I am still outraged at a death of a loved person, even though she was 92. Although she was not a protector or shelter to us, any loss of life of someone you love still leaves you feeling vulnerable.

The trees removed for park renovation confirm a change in me as well. As a previously private person, exposure of any kind is difficult. Now the lights of the city and traffic remind me to be more at ease with my visibility in the community at large, including this blog. In the beginning, I felt God wanted me to write this blog in spite of fear. Now again He confirms, “Let your light shine before men." I can’t see my own light, not even sure that it is there. But because I can no longer hide behind old trees, the people on the main street can see it coming from my window. My hope is that you might see a little of it shining from this window too.

1. Matthew 5: 14-16

Promise

Worn and old but full of promise

We are in grief. Neil’s 92 year old Aunt Maine, us at her side, stopped breathing life giving air, Wednesday January 9 at 5:30 pm and passed to the other side.

We headed back to the city from the island on Tuesday morning and spent time with her until the end. I grabbed an American Bible Society “Promises of God” booklet and read portions of scripture from it to her. She remained attentive with eyes opened whenever we spoke.
Whenever her breathing became labored, I prayed out loud for God to give her peace and a sense of His Holy presence and that she would have no fear. I held her hand and she held mine and the labored breathing stopped and she breathed more peacefully. I felt it a privilege to be there as I was not able to be there to the end with my mother.

Neil and I took turns sitting by her side and talking to her and just sitting quietly. When she was attentive to Neil or resting, I took the elevator to her apartment two floors up to clear out her room as we knew she would no longer return. and others were waiting for it. While cleaning out drawers and shelves, I found a small well used book as well as some notes with scripture verses, the same that I had read earlier, confirmation that we were on the right track. I also found cards with questions on them. Just then Neil came in to the room wondering what he might read to her. I said to him, “There is no coincidence that I found these notes in the desk drawer. Take these and answer them for her.” On two 3X5 cards she had written, “What does it mean to be born again?” and “What does it mean to be filled with the Holy Spirit?” We both felt a clear directive from the Holy Spirit to give her the answers for which she had been waiting and encouragement for us that she was and would continue to be in His hands. She attentively listened to Neil’s answers and seemed content and peaceful when I returned. I brought her old small frail well used book, much like herself, Ave Maria, from her room. Again, she turned her head toward me and opened her eyes and I read from the most worn pages “Morning Prayers.”
“O my God, my only good, the Author of my being and my last end, I give Thee my heart. Praise, honor, and glory be to Thee forever. Amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
I will raise myself up from this bed of sleep, to adore my God, and to labor for the salvation of my soul. Oh, may I rise on the last day unto life everlasting. ...Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of hosts!" I ended by saying, "You will soon be with your Lord Jesus." Within an hour she was praising God on the other side and we were grieving only because we will miss her.

Hebrews 9:23-25; 10:19-23

Winter

Red Oak in Winter

Winter seems the time of letting go. Even the leaves that cling past their time to the red oak have fallen and scattered with the wind of winter. The last of the unclaimed apples still cling to the branches but every day another drops with the temperature. The died back perennials have only the hope of roots and bulbs below the surface keeping life going to sprout up again in spring.

Neil’s 92 year-old, aunt, who never had children is letting go of visible life as well. She lives in a three tiered retirement home near our condo in Seattle. Moving out of her home to ours and then from our home many years ago to independent living she moved to assisted when she could no longer remember medication. Two months ago after breaking her arm in a fall, she moved to the health care center. She now has given up, “failure to thrive” they said, refusing to eat or drink. In her medical directive she adamantly stipulated that she did not want to be kept artificially alive, no feeding tubes, nor IVs. A hospice team has come in to assure her comfort and she has round the clock nurses. We go and sit by her side. We put salve on her lips and do what we can. She mainly is unresponsive but hears us.

I talk to her about heaven and her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ whom she will meet on the other side. She looks my way. I tell her about the book I read "Heaven", she who loved to read listens. I talk about the new heaven and earth that is promised to believers where there is no failing body nor pain nor sorrow. She can see her beloved dog Pepper again. I talk about the hard to imagine beauty of an unspoiled earth. She with a photographer’s eye understands capturing a moment with camera before it fades or passes. No more waiting for that right moment, it will be there all the time, yet unending beauty to capture. She can play her violin in the greatest symphony orchestra ever.

She may be dying, but like the perennials, with her root in Jesus, she will spring up on the other side in full blossom never to die again. And we who wait and watch and care are saddened. But because we also know Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we have hope we can meet her on the other side when the winter season of our life says it is now our turn to let go.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die…”

Reflections

Granddog Cindi in afterglow

Looking back on the week there is an afterglow of fun family time, being together for Christmas. We spent the week preparing food, beds, house for family filling it. The first to arrive was Lu and Matt and Cindi from California. How great to give the first hug to Lu and Matt and their baby girl to be born in April. They decorated the tree the night they arrived, a definite challenge but Matt’s artistic talents filled in the gaps between limbs.

The next day Chris, Tomoko, Dylan and Pappy arrived with the King Crab sent from Jeff and family in Alaska, and the prawns and New York Strip Loin that vendors sent him to try. It was fun to have them try it out on us. Christmas eve more family arrived, Nan, Neil’s mom and Alan. We had no church service to go to, but a children’s Christmas musical at the community center. We ate the fantastic dinner after we got back, New York steaks, Cedar planked Alaskan King Crab legs, mashed potatoes, maple butternut squash and green beans. For dessert a chocolate peppermint ice cream cake with a candle as we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, then sang carols and then watched a classic movie. We continued eating the next day with traditional Christmas brunch and decided to just do leftovers for Christmas dinner. It was a “foodie” family Christmas and Santa even brought the game “Food Fight” a fun trivia game for food lovers that we all enjoyed.

No matter how wonderful our celebration, the reality of our fallen, imperfect world appears. The septic tank started bubbling up, not backing up, but with the rain, it was not pumping into the drain field. We didn’t spend much time outside and Chris and Matt quickly put up a chicken wire fence around the area to keep the dogs out. The green house started leaking and then there was the garbage and recycling that piled up. Even a cold bug was recycled to Lu, Matt and Neil. Overeating, too many sweets, staying up late, I can’t say I was tapped onto the vine all the time (see previous blog). All this is a sign that some things need attention and should be taken care of soon.

The week before New Year’s I tend to think about what needs to be changed and it is often a time of reflection and planning ahead. Instead of New Year’s resolutions, I reexamine my life, our life, our focus, reflecting on the past year and what was good and what needs improvement. I know because of Jesus, whose birth we celebrated, every day I can ask for a new beginning and for the power and wisdom to change that which needs attention. This is my hope for you and wish for the New Year. May your New Year have that wonderful afterglow.

Prepare for Christmas

Charlie Brown tree (branch) creatively decorated by Matt and Lu

After coming back to the island Monday morning, we started preparing for Christmas and family, 10 of us plus two dogs, arriving. Besides baking, we cut the red berry holly and fir branches from our trees, strung lights along the grape arbor and the roof line near the walkway. We put the wreaths on the entry gate and strung colored lights on a fir and plum tree outside the gate.

We decided to find and cut a local tree as we had no time to get one from the tree lots in town. This is more fun anyway. Most of the trees that we found at our place were light starved with branches long or spindly or lopsided. We considered the Korean fir that Neil planted years ago that struggles to survive. The bottom three feet, bare from the nibbling of deer, could be the right height if we cut off the bottom, but we decided to let it go another year.

A friend offered a tree on her land. “Just go and look, especially around the power lines as they need to be cut anyway.” So we headed off with the truck and chain saw and walked the roads and power lines and found two. One was in the middle of many firs under the power line and looked delicate and symmetrical and the other was full, coming out of a downed, still living tree. This side branch decided it would be a real tree and was shaped well and full, so we cut both, one for outside and one for inside. I kind of liked the persistence of the latter so we chose that one for the indoor tree as a reminder of full life even when downed.

I seem to like imperfect trees, although not as imperfect as I remember my Dad and I bringing home. That year we went out to get a tree from the Sunoco gas station lot near our home in Massachusetts where Mom said there were Nova Scotia trees. It was late so not many left and we didn’t realize how bad it was until we got it in the house and the needles started falling off. Even our cat got sick eating the fallen needles. There was one side with hardly any branches on it. I remember my Dad trying to take a bottom branch off and drilling a hole in the bare spot to glue it in so it would look decent. At least I know the needles won’t fall off the tree we just cut.

I can relate to downed imperfect trees, still recovering from illness. I still don’t have the strength back but looking at that tree that was only a branch on a downed tree and how it decided to grow symmetrical and straight for as long as it could gives me encouragement. I don’t feel bad cutting it as it soon would stop growing since the trunk, actually a branch was very small and the life in the downed tree where it got it’s source was dwindling.

So in preparation to celebrate Christmas, we remember Jesus born who later said, “I am the vine (tree with the life source), you are the branches. If a man (woman) remains in me and I in him (has Jesus in their heart), he will bear much fruit: apart from me you can do nothing.” 1 I’m glad we can celebrate the source of our strength and hope not only this seeason but always and am looking forward to a wonderful Christmas tapped into the vine.
We wish you a Very Merry Christmas as well.

1. John 15:5

Peace

Prepare Ye

For Peace

I’ve decided to take my unsent Christmas cards that say “Peace on Earth, Good Will towards Men,” to the free bench this year. It hasn’t happened and won’t happen as long as the Earth and man in their present state exist. All the schemes of men, peace accords have not lasted for long. It is too hard to write an explanation on every card about why this has not happened since the angels predicted it to the shepherds at Jesus’ birth over two thousand years ago, so I’ll give them away.

I have had peace this week in between regular coughing bouts. With a second week of fever, I couldn’t think very clearly nor have energy to run around so it has been quiet here. But inside, except for my lungs, I have peace. “Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me,” goes the song but I know I can’t bring about Peace on Earth, even if I have peace from God inside. I wish it could spread peace as fast and furious as this bug I contacted. But then I have stayed away from everyone so it stops with me. I realize I would have to be out there with everyone in order to spread peace if that were possible. I have learned that the more I am out there, the more chance for lack of goodwill towards man. I can’t think of anyone for whom I have ill will but know some who have it for me. I remember someone once said, “If you don’t have any enemies then are you really standing up for anything?”

If you think I am cynical, it could be the fever, which has finally left midweek. I’ve tried to look at the “Peace” cards from the perspective of those receiving them. Some might discard them as childish thinking or a Biblical untruth. Others may think, “Yes, it starts with me.” I remember in the eighties the bumper sticker "Visualize Peace" and then in the nineties, "Visualize Peas". I never believed that visualizing would make it happen. I remember my naïveté almost 30 years ago when I went to Israel and later communicated with a friend I met, expressing that peace will come. He had given up hope a long time before. Now in Israel only the hopeful give up land for peace. Anyone with their eyes open knows it will not come until Jesus comes again.

The birth of Jesus was the entry of this era. Jesus, the Prince of Peace, God in the flesh, coming to live on this Earth for 33 years, left His spirit with us who believe. He came to set us free by his sacrifice so we could regain right relationship to God. This spirit empowers us to be peacemakers, that is the idea but we still dwell in imperfect bodies with imperfect souls and minds.

Today, I think about the cards on the free bench. I hope that anyone picking them up might not think that whoever left them gave up hope on “Peace on Earth.” The Bible says, “Always be prepared to give the hope that dwells in you.”1 This is our hope. When Jesus comes again, a promise, He will resurrect our bodies to live forever on a new Earth… where for the first time there will be unending Peace on Earth, true peace and goodwill forever. I can’t wait.
So until then we prepare to celebrate Christmas, the celebration of the beginning that leads to the hope within us.
1. I Peter 3:15

Perspective

Perspective on the world from couch while sick

“It never rains but it pours," so the saying goes, meaning once something bad starts happening, more follow. The week started with a bug I caught that went right to my chest and put me down with fever and chills. Then Neil got a call from the assisted living facility in Seattle saying that his Aunt in Seattle was not doing well., not eating nor drinking or talking, ‘failure to thrive” they said so he took the last ferry Monday night to try to get her turned around, which he did.. For me, he was able to call his doc in Seattle who faxed the antibiotic prescription to Friday Harbor and an islander who worked at the drug store there, brought it home with her that evening. Another friend met her at the ferry and brought the medicine to me. I am thankful for this island community, friends, medicine available, a warm dry house with electricity and hot running water. For food and clothes available at any time, the opportunities and choices I have all my life and especially hope when I felt the worst. I’m thankful this illness was temporary. I am also thankful for Neil’s help and his aunt’s turnaround, although maybe temporary.

Many asked how we fared as they watched the Pacific Northwest storms and floods on national news. We had a lot of rain but thankful there was no damage. There are not many low spots on this island and it is mostly covered with trees which absorb the water. Not so with others in town, sewage backup, basement flooding, loss of presents, household items furniture. Many have sufferings that don’t go away. Many children, especially in other countries, have no one to get them medicine or food, clothes or care. While I was thinking of this, Neil came back from Seattle on Wednesday night with mail from our PO Box, the first Christmas card, a wonderful personal DVD from a missionary we support in Africa through Rafiki Foundation raising up orphans to be godly contributors to their county. http://www.rafiki-foundation.org/. Most of what we build up can be washed away or uprooted in a minute, if not now, eventually. Helping helpless children gives lasting results; I’ve seen the difference when I went to work with orphans in Uganda. I’m glad for the reminder to send donations to help locally and afar.

I also want the focus of this Christmas to be on what is lasting, family, friends, fun times, celebration, and the pure joys of this life. As a believer in Jesus whose birth we celebrate this month, scripture says when He comes again, whether we are dead or living, He will rebuild a new Heaven and new Earth for His own (those who believe), a real Earth with whatever glimpses of what we see of His glory now will be the reality. We will have real resurrected bodies, no more sickness or decay or flooding or destruction and whatever joy we have now in some part will be what we will experience all the time with friends and family and people we’ve always wanted to meet. We’ll have a real and exceedingly more beautiful Earth and Universe to enjoy and explore forever with amazing adventures to look forward to. But the most fantastic of all will be the physical glorious presence of the living Christ. This is the end design for which His birth was the beginning. I especially want to keep this perspective this season and hope you will as well.

(Just finished reading Heaven by Randy Alcorn)